Sunday, April 23, 2017

My Savta was a WARRIOR

Dear God,
I wonder if she was afraid,
As she stood aboard the ship,
Packed to the capacity with children,
Being rescued from a blood stained land.

I wonder if she tiptoed over to the ledge,
And waved goodbye with her little hand.
Watch over her! her maman had said,
To the boy closest in line.
Protect her from those who wish to harm,
I will, as if she is a sister of mine.
And he smiled at her with a brotherly charm.

I wonder if she cried,
In that gloomy orphanage alone in France.
Awakened by bombs nightly,
I wonder if in the bomb shelters she did dance.

Did she think she’ll see her parents again??
Or was that a thought her memory condemned?
Was she ecstatic to be on the way to the holy land?
After just a year in France, luck stroke that little hand.
A bunch of children, including her new brother,
Were to be sent to a farm in the holy land Israel.
Where the Jewish people could be free,
Not persecuted for religion or ethnicity.
As the years past and she worked the land,
Did she often look at her growing hand,
And wonder if to her mother she’d wave again?
She spent her time dancing,
Of that I’m sure.
Dancing was something she always did,
No matter what trials or tribulations were in store.

Dear god,
When her parents arrived to the holy land,
Rescued by you, the almighty king of all.
Did she fall to her knees in gratitude?
Was her smile as bright as a sunlit sky?

When she was 17 she chose to teach,
I inherited her skill, a love to preach.
As she sang the Hebrew alphabet to young orphaned children
Did she see pain in their war struck eyes?
Knowing their parents no longer among them?

Dear god,
After she wed and had a family of her own,
Did she constantly fear the safety of her home?
For she often moved from place to place,
Until they moved overseas.
Leaving the holy land is heartbreaking,
But 9 children are hard to feed.
50 years to teaching she dedicated,
To help grow the minds of the young.
Her students sing her praises to this day.
I wonder, was that something her little hand anticipated?

The Nazis tried to wipe the Jews out,
But thank god they did fail!
And my grandmother is their biggest revenge.
She could have raged and cried for years,
Drowning with sadness and tears.
For losing a childhood rightfully her own,
Being separated from her family, no love, no home.

If you would have met her,
You would have never known.
Her aura was content,
Eyes bursting with song.
Her kitchen always full of aromatic smells,
Her Energy so full of life!
A Dedicated mother teacher and wife.
She showed them those Nazis!
Unbearable hardships our warrior did face,
But you would never know.
Because she still danced.

Our warrior is no longer among us,
Passed away just a year ago.
I saw her a week before,
And although her body no longer strong,
I looked into her eyes and saw the song.
And I too danced.


A few minor details have been changed to respect my family's wishes

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Be The Change

When it comes down to it,
We are all the same.
Humans trying to adult,
while masking our past hurts and pain.
Struggling to cover our bills of this materialistic life.
Doing our best at our roles, Mothers, Fathers, Husband,& Wife.
if we are so alike
why then,
do we treat each other with bitterness and strife?
Focusing on wrong dramatic things,
only pain and negativity do such conflicts bring.
What am i trying to convey?
What is my message i wish to share today?
well if are like,
Just brothers and sisters trying to reach our goals.
Shouldn't we spend our time trying to help each other out?
To mend the broken? Keep our loved ones whole?
Instead of blaming others for problems you face,
Try that ill mindset to erase.
The state of your life is dependent,
on the state of your mind.
Try to rememeber that next time,
Harsh words are quick to slip out of your mouth.
Or in a moment of frustration you are quick to shout.
Get your emotions in check,
Realize, its ok if today you feel a bit wrecked.
But dont' let your energy corrupt your soul.
Focus on the good,
Tomorrow will be better.
For all you have be grateful,
Your blessing treasure.
We all doing our best,
at passing life's tests.
lets hold hands together,
In Unity we can make the world better!<3

Loss

The pain of losing someone we love is indescribable.
Loss isn't something one naturally understands or has empathy for.
Until loss is something we endure.

Last year today,
I experienced a heart wrenching loss.
Ironically unlike today,
I remember the weather being perfectly bright.
The suns rays shining thru the canopy of trees, blossoming with new life.

And then, just like that,
I received a small notification on a family chat group.
Just one small word,
Enough to let me know she was gone.

My beloved savta,
A woman who was a true queen,
Greatest teacher, both to her children and students.
 She was full of life and happiness.
I have fond memories of her always dancing,
Everything she did was with passion and love.
And a beat in her step.
Doesn't matter if it was her signature pasta dish she was creating or simply tidying up her home.
She had a energy that would fill you with joy, simply for being near her.

Last year today, she left this world.
My initial reaction was sadness and anger for my loss.
I didn't understand how all those prayers didn't help her recover from the cancer she so bravely fought for too long.

I didn't understand how one could just continue existing after a chunk of their heart is torn out from their chests??

And then as I stood there,
Amidst all of my family,
Waving savta off for one last time.
I realized I was being selfish,
Savta was no longer in pain, happily reunited with her parents, finally able to sit on her royal throne. Savta had gone home.

I stood there on the crowded street
Watching loss take over everyone I love,
Watching my aunts and uncles shout in pain, hurting for loosing their beloved mama. Their first love.

I knew they where hurting, but also knew they would be OK.
For mama's health they no longer had to pray.
Because now Savta was living a better role.
Watching and praying for her children,
Celebrating upon their every success.
Giving a happy dance each time we reach a new goal.
Savta, you I will forever miss.
I'm not sure if my heart will ever be whole
But I know you've got my back
Watching over me, praying for me, being proud of me. Protecting my lost soul.
 All while doing the same for us all. <3