My Savta was a WARRIOR

Dear God,

I wonder if she was afraid,

As she stood aboard the ship,

Packed to the capacity with children,

Being rescued from a blood stained land.

I wonder if she tiptoed over to the ledge,

And waved goodbye with her little hand.

Watch over her! her maman had said,

To the boy closest in line.

Protect her from those who wish to harm,

I will, as if she is a sister of mine.

And he smiled at her with a brotherly charm.

I wonder if she cried,

In that gloomy orphanage alone in France.

Awakened by bombs nightly,

I wonder if in the bomb shelters she did dance.

Did she think she’ll see her parents again??

Or was that a thought her memory condemned?

Was she ecstatic to be on the way to the holy land?

After just a year in France, luck stroke that little hand.

A bunch of children, including her new brother,

Were to be sent to a farm in the holy land Israel.

Where the Jewish people could be free,

Not persecuted for religion or ethnicity.

As the years past and she worked the land,

Did she often look at her growing hand,

And wonder if to her mother she’d wave again?

She spent her time dancing,

Of that I’m sure.

Dancing was something she always did,

No matter what trials or tribulations were in store.

Dear god,

When her parents arrived to the holy land,

Rescued by you, the almighty king of all.

Did she fall to her knees in gratitude?

Was her smile as bright as a sunlit sky?

When she was 17 she chose to teach,

I inherited her skill, a love to preach.

As she sang the Hebrew alphabet to young orphaned children

Did she see pain in their war struck eyes?

Knowing their parents no longer among them?

Dear god,

After she wed and had a family of her own,

Did she constantly fear the safety of her home?

For she often moved from place to place,

Until they moved overseas.

Leaving the holy land is heartbreaking,

But 9 children are hard to feed.

50 years to teaching she dedicated,

To help grow the minds of the young.

Her students sing her praises to this day.

I wonder, was that something her little hand anticipated?

The Nazis tried to wipe the Jews out,

But thank god they did fail!

And my grandmother is their biggest revenge.

She could have raged and cried for years,

Drowning with sadness and tears.

For losing a childhood rightfully her own,

Being separated from her family, no love, no home.

If you would have met her,

You would have never known.

Her aura was content,

Eyes bursting with song.

Her kitchen always full of aromatic smells,

Her Energy so full of life!

A Dedicated mother teacher and wife.

She showed them those Nazis!

Unbearable hardships our warrior did face,

But you would never know.

Because she still danced.

Our warrior is no longer among us,

Passed away just a year ago.

I saw her a week before,

And although her body no longer strong,

I looked into her eyes and saw the song.

And I too danced.

A few minor details have been changed to respect my family's wishes

Be The Change

When it comes down to it,
We are all the same.
Humans trying to adult,
while masking our past hurts and pain.
Struggling to cover our bills of this materialistic life.
Doing our best at our roles, Mothers, Fathers, Husband,& Wife.
if we are so alike
why then,
do we treat each other with bitterness and strife?
Focusing on wrong dramatic things,
only pain and negativity do such conflicts bring.
What am i trying to convey?
What is my message i wish to share today?
well if are like,
Just brothers and sisters trying to reach our goals.
Shouldn't we spend our time trying to help each other out?
To mend the broken? Keep our loved ones whole?
Instead of blaming others for problems you face,
Try that ill mindset to erase.
The state of your life is dependent,
on the state of your mind.
Try to rememeber that next time,
Harsh words are quick to slip out of your mouth.
Or in a moment of frustration you are quick to shout.
Get your emotions in check,
Realize, its ok if today you feel a bit wrecked.
But dont' let your energy corrupt your soul.
Focus on the good,
Tomorrow will be better.
For all you have be grateful,
Your blessing treasure.
We all doing our best,
at passing life's tests.
lets hold hands together,
In Unity we can make the world better!<3

Loss

The pain of losing someone we love is indescribable.
Loss isn't something one naturally understands or has empathy for.
Until loss is something we endure.

Last year today,
I experienced a heart wrenching loss.
Ironically unlike today,
I remember the weather being perfectly bright.
The suns rays shining thru the canopy of trees, blossoming with new life.

And then, just like that,
I received a small notification on a family chat group.
Just one small word,
Enough to let me know she was gone.

My beloved savta,
A woman who was a true queen,
Greatest teacher, both to her children and students.
 She was full of life and happiness.
I have fond memories of her always dancing,
Everything she did was with passion and love.
And a beat in her step.
Doesn't matter if it was her signature pasta dish she was creating or simply tidying up her home.
She had a energy that would fill you with joy, simply for being near her.

Last year today, she left this world.
My initial reaction was sadness and anger for my loss.
I didn't understand how all those prayers didn't help her recover from the cancer she so bravely fought for too long.

I didn't understand how one could just continue existing after a chunk of their heart is torn out from their chests??

And then as I stood there,
Amidst all of my family,
Waving savta off for one last time.
I realized I was being selfish,
Savta was no longer in pain, happily reunited with her parents, finally able to sit on her royal throne. Savta had gone home.

I stood there on the crowded street
Watching loss take over everyone I love,
Watching my aunts and uncles shout in pain, hurting for loosing their beloved mama. Their first love.

I knew they where hurting, but also knew they would be OK.
For mama's health they no longer had to pray.
Because now Savta was living a better role.
Watching and praying for her children,
Celebrating upon their every success.
Giving a happy dance each time we reach a new goal.
Savta, you I will forever miss.
I'm not sure if my heart will ever be whole
But I know you've got my back
Watching over me, praying for me, being proud of me. Protecting my lost soul.
 All while doing the same for us all. <3

In her eyes

In her eyes,

The world is pure.

Colors are beautiful,

Nature she does adore.

In her eyes,

The world is peaceful.

Birds chirp as dogs bark back,

Roosters call and squirrels climb over it all.

In her eyes,

Humans are all alike.

And every person receives a bright hello just the same.

She does not judge by color or race,

To her every person is a beautiful face.

In her eyes,

We are all good and truthful.

She would be astounded were she aware of people’s abundant lies.

Because in her eyes,

The sun does always shine.

Even during a thunderstorm,

She finds reason to dance.

During the snow blizzard,

She was so fascinated by the little white crystals falling for the sky.

Because the world is magnificent in her eye.

Taking her to the park,

Is an adventure in itself.

she excitedly waves at all the passerby,

Looking out for animals and when spotting one,

She gives an excited cry.

For in her eyes,

The world is ever fascinating.

She is curious, trying to understand,

What people do, what others may be saying.

In her eyes,

I am superwoman.

I shall not try to convince her otherwise,

In her eyes I do no wrong.

Joining in passionately,

Whenever I break into song.

In her eyes I see love,

In her eyes I see the light and joy I named her for.

In her eyes I see myself as a mother she does adore,

I shall never cease working.

On the image of myself, in her eyes,

Because if her expectations of me are the best,

How can I fail?

When in her eyes my heart always lies.

Re-post Wednesdays

I wrote this on March 1 2012,
I had to re-post this article since I still feel very strongly about this,
the only thing we can change in this world is ourselves.



You can't make up your mind 
As to who you want to be 
So indecisive 
About what you are to do 
You doubt good decisions 
& constantly second guess yourself 
You never raise your expectations 
And place upon yourself tough limitations. 
You consider yourself a failure
Because you fear success
You have no confidence
In your appearance or actions
You wait with bated breath
For life to get better
Counting the days
For the arrival of your happiness treasure
You have many hopes and desires
Dreams and fears
& u always think that no one cares
You read into words spoken
Looking for hidden meanings
Questioning you fellow mates gleamings
Please pick up a mirror
And see yourself beautiful
Think about you're actions
Smart and wise
You are kind and well liked
Honest and true
Stop being busy waiting for change
Have you forgotten what you have?
Many wish to be lucky as u?
Stop crying for shoes when some have no feet
Overcome your self negativity prove your sadness defeat
You always say you want to change the world
The best place to begin would be with yourself
So please be happy
And stop waiting for materialistic things to make you.

Be the change you want to see in the world

The only thing we can change in this world is ourselves

The world may be going to hell

With all the political dismay

Hate crimes happening each day

People depressed buried in dismay

Unsure which direction to head in,

 lost aimlessly from path to path they sway

Fearing the echo of their own voice

Their unique perspective will be unaccepted,

 For it makes far too much noise

So we are all captains of sinking ships

Smiling falsely, yet with reality we lose grips

Looking for contentment by fattening our hips

Painting a smile, onto our shouting lips

And we all see the misery of others

Empathetically try to help our sisters and brothers

But how can we help each other if we constantly fall?

If our knees are too weak and sink to the ground

How do we expect to stand tall?

By taking care of ourselves we can help those around

and together link hands & rise up from the ground.

A day with Lexie my Bestie

I love new your city

The bustling crowds

And peddlers selling their wares

The small cafes and unique boutiques

The unanimous feeling of not having a care

The rush of striding through the streets

And pondering the story behind every person you meet

 Vibrant Colors, strong scents and cultural events

Bright lights illuminate the night

And the sun rays peek through the skyscrapers

As taxis play a game of rush hour

All overlooked by the freedom tower

There is a euphoric feeling we all share

When we are in our native favorite city

Inspired by the old mixed with new

Learning lessons from all, even the ill tempered few

I am so ecstatic I had the opportunity

To show my favorite city to a very dear friend

Someone I haven’t seen in quite some time

Spending a day in the city definitely did our severed ties mend

We had lunch in union square

And walked all along Fifth Avenue to times square

After shopping a bit

And getting lost in Sephora

We went to Rockefeller center

And got lost in the romantic Valentine’s Day aura

We definitely will visit again before they depart

Even though I am currently a country girl

The city will always have my heart